It can be difficult to know what to do when someone you care
about has disclosed to you that he or she has been abused. You are dealing with
your own thoughts and feelings while trying to provide support to your loved
one as they deal with the trauma. This is not an easy thing to navigate.
In order to show support, some helpful things to tell the
survivor include:
- “Thank you for telling me”
and “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
A good place to begin is by acknowledging their trauma, how
it has affected their life, and how difficult it might have been for them to
tell you.
- “I believe you”
- It can be very difficult
for survivors to tell their story as they might be ashamed, worried they
won’t be believed, or even worried that they’ll be blamed. The best thing
you can do is support them and remind them that you believe them.
- It can be very difficult
for survivors to tell their story as they might be ashamed, worried they
won’t be believed, or even worried that they’ll be blamed. The best thing
you can do is support them and remind them that you believe them.
- “I care about you and I am
here to listen and help in any way I can” and “How can I help?”
- Letting the survivor know
that you are there for them and that you are willing to listen to them
can be very helpful in their healing process. It is also important to
remind them that there are service providers that provide support for
victims of sexual assault and abuse who are willing to support their
healing process as well.
- Letting the survivor know
that you are there for them and that you are willing to listen to them
can be very helpful in their healing process. It is also important to
remind them that there are service providers that provide support for
victims of sexual assault and abuse who are willing to support their
healing process as well.
- “You didn’t do anything to
deserve this” or “It’s not your fault.”
- Survivors can tend to
blame themselves, especially if they know the perpetrator personally. Emphasizing
that what happened was never their fault, that it was the fault of the
person who committed the abuse, is a good way to help support the
survivor.
- Survivors can tend to
blame themselves, especially if they know the perpetrator personally. Emphasizing
that what happened was never their fault, that it was the fault of the
person who committed the abuse, is a good way to help support the
survivor.
It is important when you are taking with a survivor not to
make the conversation about yourself. The survivor is already processing a lot
of emotions, and may not have the capacity to help you deal with your own
thoughts and feelings. Make sure that you aren’t telling the survivor how to
feel or what to do; your focus should be on supporting them and helping them
regain control over their life. Finally, don’t push the survivor to share more
than they are ready to. They will tell you what they want, when they are ready.
People who have been sexually assaulted or abused may
experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks, difficulty sleeping, and PTSD,
among other emotional and physical symptoms. There is no timetable as to when
these symptoms may present themselves, or for recovery. It is important to keep
this in mind and continue to show your support by avoiding judgment, checking
in periodically, and knowing when and who to ask for help, such as the Sexual Violence Hotline and the Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres.
It is important to remember that not every survivor is going
to be ready to report the assault or abuse just because they spoke to you about
it. There is no pressure to bring a civil lawsuit for sexual assault or abuse as
there is no limitation period.
While a lawsuit is unlikely to undo the damage and pain caused to the survivor, it can help the survivor find closure and move to the next stage of their life. We here at Beckett Personal Injury Lawyers are here to take that step with survivors when, and if, they are ready.
Published on November 14, 2024
